Stuff It

One of my favorite holidays is upon us once again.  And that means many things.  Parades.  Football.  Turkey.  98% off sales at 3AM at the stores on Friday morning.  But more than anything, Thankxgiving is about one of the great inventions in the history of mankind.  Yes, it is all about CORNBREAD STUFFING!




This is my November obsession.  Well, that plus the Macy's parade which for some reason I HAVE to watch every year on NBC.  For the life of me, I don't understand why I have a fetish to watch that parade for three hours every Thankxgiving, but I do.  Maybe it was the old Katie Couric dressed in a muffler thing that got to me.  It sure as balls isn't the old Al Roker dressed in a muffler thing that gets to me.  And Katie's on CBS now doing the other parade anyway.  Where does that one come from, Disney or Hawaii...it's one of them.  Whichever it is, it totally beats New York City in the rain/snow/sleet/wind, so I think Katie took that CBS news job FOR THIS SOLE REASON!

Anyway...tangent.  Back to stuffing!



Man, stuffing takes up more of my holiday dinner plate every year than anything else.  I am especially fond of, as you probably guessed by now, cornbread stuffing.  I also love the cranberry stuffing that Stove Top puts out, although there are better homemade recipes of stuffing out there, including that which my lady makes each year.  In fact, Stove Top is pretty much contraband 'round these parts when it comes to the holidays.  But with that said, Stove Top is damn good in my opinion, so that works fine too.  Plus it takes about 3 hours less to make than homemade stuffing, which is good because THAT'S PARADE TIME, DAMMIT!  Plus, this is when I officially start feeling like it really is the holiday season.  Yeah, I know we've been seeing and hearing Xmas ads on television since before Linus sat in that friggin' pumpkin patch on ABC, but I don't let them tell ME when to start singing Deck the Halls.  No sir!  It is NOT the holiday season until Santa Claus shows up on my TV in the final five minutes of that NBC parade.  Then, and ONLY then will I even so much as look at a candy cane.

Oh, but wait, I can't fill up on those yet.  Not until I've had my stuffing.



Mmmmmmmmmmmm...doesn't that just make you want to jump in the turkey's ass yourself?  Of course it does!  Well, actually, I'd prefer if you didn't.  You see, I have a few weird food habits and one of them does revolve around stuffing.  I don't mind it actually stuffed as stuffing inside of the turkey.  But I really prefer it on the side.  Which, of course, begs the question, "Why the fuck do you think it's called 'stuffing', moron?"  To which, I answer back, "Hey!  It's called 'dressing' too, jackalope, but I don't see you shoveling any over your fucking pants!"  Actually, I'd prefer you didn't even more than jumping into the turkey's ass.  That's serious food abuse.



Yeah...imagine eating something that is in the anal cavity of the above.  Makes going vegan sound PRETTY good, doesn't it?

Stuffing on the side, thank you.

Thankxgiving is TOMORROW!  BRING IT!