Roger Clemens: HGH or not, an AH to the fullest

(This blog was originally written on 2/15/08 on MySpace)

I could blog all about how the government needs a huge kick in the ass.  I could blog all about how we have wars going on (and on and on), gas and oil raping our wallets, an economy in the shitter and a bunch of bullshit artists running the country.  I could blog all about this "economic stimulus package" that won't help their cause.  But hell, me and everyone else will gladly and definitely take it!  CHA-CHING!  I could blog all about how despite these things, the senators and house representatives just want camera/face time to ignore ALL of the real problems, and instead spend countless hours and dollars talking to…

…athletes.

Yes, with the USA having gone straight downhill in EVERY WAY during the reign of George W. Bush, our government is concentrating their efforts on watching football and baseball.

Oh, but as I said, I COULD blog all about all of that.

But this blog is simply about one thing.  Or, more correctly, one person.

Roger Clemens.

But this isn't about whether or not he took steroids and HGH.  This is just about Roger Clemens, period.

And here's the gist of it.

Roger Clemens is, always was and always will be, a complete and total fucking jerk.

Now, I don't at all discount his talents.  I remember when he was only starting out, he played for Boston and he was great from the start.  I remember him being the first pitcher to strike out 20 batters in one game.  That's 20 out of 27 outs recorded with a strikeout, and that was back in about 1987.  Since then, only two other pitchers have equaled that feat, Kerry Wood and Randy Johnson.  And yes, I noticed both of those last names are synonymous for "dick", which brings me back to the biggest dick of all:

Roger Clemens.

Since his name was mentioned on "the list" as having used steroids and HGH, that list by Senator George Mitchell that listed dozens of past and present players, many of those names have said they did indeed use the items at one time.  Even Roger's amigo Andy Pettitte admitted to it.  Yet apparently, the information given by the trainer Brian McNamee (and others) listed all these names correctly, EXCEPT Roger Clemens.  Roger swears up and down it never happened.  He's gone to pathetic lengths to convince us of this, taping phone calls and having his jackass lawyer mouth off in the media every day.  Even now, after these hearings that just happened.  All the Republican senators sided with Clemens (gee, who'da thunk it?) and one in particular just ripped into McNamee, showing he had no objectiveness at all.  The media today (fortunately) has seen right through that senator's garbage and called the fuckstick on it.  Well, today the head of the whole committee said he regrets the hearing took place and he wanted them called off since he had all the info he needed from all the private depositions that had taken place and both Clemens and McNamee were unnecessarily embarrassed (especially McNamee, as Waxman even indirectly talked about that one particular Clemens-blowjob senator I mentioned earlier), but Clemens and his lawyer insisted on the hearings so they could publicly do their act.  And today, Clemens and that shitbag lawyer said that Waxman caused the whole thing in the first place by WANTING the hearings.  I would love to see that lawyer dead on his front lawn tomorrow morning with a baseball-size hole in his chest and a smoking pitching machine in his driveway.

But I digress.

Actually, only slightly, as the point of this is to show why Clemens is a complete prick.  All of that in the above paragraph is partially why.

What this all comes down to in my view is this:  Did Clemens use HGH?  I think he did, but I don't really care either way.  I don't think he did because all the evidence points to that he did.  I just think he did because he has no credibility, and with all his shenanigans over the last month, he has even less.  He's pretty much in the "negative and never seeing absolute zero again" level of credibility to me.

After all, this is the same person who announced his retirement years ago and spent the entire second half of that baseball season getting standing ovations in every ballpark, gifts from lots of teams, press conferences thanking everyone, etc etc etc.  Then the season ended, and before we could even begin to suffer baseball withdrawal from the World Series ending, what did this guy do?  Announce he was going to play next year for the Houston Astros.

What a fucking piece of garbage.

Oh, want another example?  This is the same person who, while pitching for the New York Yankees in a game against the New York Mets, picked up a piece of a broken bat that came his way from a Mike Piazza groundball into the infield, and threw the bat at Mike as he ran the basepaths. He didn't throw it to one of his teammates, or just off to the side, he threw it right at the legs of Piazza.  And his explanation to the home plate umpire, which you could clearly read off his lips on the replay?  "I THOUGHT IT WAS THE BALL!"

What a fucking lowlife piece of fucking garbage.

Yes, this is the kind of person Roger Clemens truly is.  He is a liar.  He is a manipulator.  He is a bully.  And that is why his credibility is nonexistent, despite his accomplishments.

Now, mind you, he's far from the first.  Ty Cobb was a nasty son of a bitch.  Albert Belle spit on umpires.  Carl Everett hit a ball into play, but before running to first base, KICKED THE CATCHER IN THE CHEST.  Milton Bradley always gets suspended for anger issues, and last season he was so heated up at a call against him that his own coach wound up SEPARATING MILTON'S SHOULDER trying to restrain him.

But none of those nasty critters can compare to the prize-winning prick.  Baseball's all-time winningest lowlife shitbag.

Roger Clemens.

Guilty or not, I don't care.  I'm sure I know, but I don't care.  Even if the Hall of Fame ultimately evades him because of all of this, and even if he ultimately winds up proven completely innocent of any of these claims, he will forever sit atop this highest pedestal in the baseball wing of history's biggest all-time flat-out assholes.

And we don't need a congressional investigation to verify that.