January 8, 2009...Idiot Day

(This blog was originally written on 1/9/09 on MySpace)

Yes, the ultimate floating holiday, folks...Idiot Day.

This is a day not on the calendar, but it should be.  But it's fun because Idiot Day can pop up anywhere, any day, any number of times a year.

Well, that was today.  Idiot Day.

It's the day when every idiot on the planet apparently decides to get out of the house and drive...RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

It's the day when a man (and not just any man, but a doctor, which would seem to indicate a high level of intelligence) files a lawsuit against his estranged wife because he was the donor for her kidney transplant years ago.  Since she cheated on him and slapped him with divorce papers, he wants the kidney back.  Or the cash equivalent of $1.5M.  Shit, if my fucking kidney's worth that, I'll transplant one of mine right to the fucking dog food factory...Pay to Bearer, $1.5 million cash.  Signed, Alpo.

It's the day when after almost TWO YEARS of getting it hammered down our throats that digital TV will be TAKING OVER THE WORLD in February of 2009, and anyone who still uses rabbit ears will no longer get any television signals unless they purchase a digital converter (or the signals are out of some guy's basement in Kansas), our future President (who, for the record, is NOT an idiot) and the broadcast companies (who are TEEMING with idiots) want to DELAY THE DIGITAL TRANSITION.  Why?  Because despite the two years of getting this hammered down our throats, and despite the fact that just about everyone has a satellite dish or a cable provider by now or can easily get one, and despite the fact that even those who HAVE a satellite dish or a cable provider already are getting the digital signals right now...apparently PEOPLE ARE STILL CONFUSED ABOUT THIS!  You'd think it was Y2K all over again the way some media reports are reporting this thing as Grand Havoc.  (And yes, Grand Havoc is capitalized because it's more dramatic that way.)  Oh, but for more fun, the government was sending $40 coupons for these converters to those who wanted one and needed one.  Well, wouldn't you know it?  THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT RAN OUT OF COUPONS.  I'm gonna go out on a limb here, but I'm willing to bet either approximately 91.5% of the coupon-getters don't need one or got one without realizing until later that they don't need the converter after all, or the government printed only about 2,000 coupons and went, "Yeah, that should be enough."  Knowing George W. Bush and his Merry Band of Dipshitazoids as we all do by now, I'd say it's about a 50-50 shot on either option.

Oh...but to top off Idiot Day?  It's also the day when the Brett Favre record starts skipping again, and it's still reported as news.  Brett Favre, who just has been awarded the Golden Jackass Award in Sports by the GJA governing body of yours truly (2007 winner: Roger Clemens...go find my old blog on that if you didn't read it), has now said it will take "several weeks" (again) to decide (again) if he's going to keep playing (again) or retire (again).  Again.

What's funny about it is even the Green Bay fans are sick of this shithead.  So hey, chalk one up for the Cheeseheads...no idiots there!